


The Nearness Of You

by SimplyswooningK



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Episode: s05e14 Conundrum, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:54:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26476795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplyswooningK/pseuds/SimplyswooningK
Summary: Set During the Season Five Episode "Conundrum", shows what would happen when the heart remembers more than the head. Not for the kids.
Relationships: William Riker/Deanna Troi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've always thought that the Ro/Riker sideline in this episode was completely ridiculous, so I'm getting rid of it. To me, the writers always wasted the potential that Deanna and Will's relationship had. There were so many epsidodes where having them together would've enriched everything. But that's a rant for another time. The title is taken from the song Will plays to Deanna in his quarters. Please read and Review this lemony, slightly angsty little two shot.

** The Nearness of You **

** One **

He didn’t know who she was. Hell, he didn’t know who he was, not really. His name, according to the ship’s records, was William T. Riker. 

He was serving on a starship called  _ Enterprise, his rank was that of Commander, and he was currently embroiled in an intergalactic war. But none of that was on his mind. At least, not for the moment. _

__

Yes, he was innately curious about who he was and what he was doing. This war they were fighting, this Federation he had apparently sworn allegiance to. 

__

But the thoughts that were consuming him weren’t about war, duty or station. All he could think of eyes so black, they resembled the very fabric of space, hair so dark and thick it looked as it belonged to the finest thoroughbred, and a smile so warm and inviting and somehow familiar when everything around him had become foreign. 

__

He had just left her in her quarters, he’d wanted to stay but he didn’t want to press. 

__

Something about her, something about this woman, this Deanna Troi seemed to speak to something beyond the memories he couldn’t recall. 

__

Her lips against his cheek had brought a million thoughts and descriptions to mind, but no memories to tether them to. Only an almost scorching feeling that clung to the very essence of him, almost as if she ran through his veins. 

__

It was like trying to remember a dream, entirely vague and without context. But he knew it was real, he felt as if it spoke to his soul. He longed to find out, longed to know what it was between them.

__

They weren’t married. They would’ve been sharing quarters if they were. She wasn’t his sister; of that he was certain. The emotions that stirred when he thought of her were far from brotherly. 

__

Whatever it was, he could feel that it was intense and...wonderful. 

__

Though he had no memories of what it was, “intense” and “wonderful” seemed the only words appropriate to describe it. 

__

His smile was immovable as he left her quarters, heading to his own. He didn’t know what the next day would bring, if he would regain his memories and rediscover his identity.

__

He did, have the feeling, however that if he ever regained his memories, the woman he knew as Ship’s Counselor, Lieutenant Commander Deanna Troi would surely encompass a great deal of them.

__

He smiled all the way to his quarters, although he felt no attachment to the rooms or anything in them. He had an idea to explore though, see what he could gather about himself. 

__

The doors opened and he found himself at home. He was about to begin his investigation of himself when he heard noises from his bedroom.

__

He stepped cautiously to the room and then a smile broke across his face. There was the helms officer, Ro Laren, dressed casually, quite casually in his bedroom.

__

“Hi," she said with a familiarity he wasn’t sure either of them could claim.

__

“I know I didn’t get the wrong room,” he said with a smile. 

__

He had to admit that there was something about the young Ensign that intrigued him. Whether it was born from familiarity or favoritism or irritation or ignorance, he could not say. But, there was something. 

__

Nothing like what he felt when he was near Deanna, but something tangible. 

__

“I just didn’t like the way my quarters were decorated,” Ro said with a sly smile. “Besides, I have this funny feeling that maybe I spend most of my off hours here.”

__

“Really?” came his amused response. He felt surprised and flattered by her direct attempt of seduction, but flattered surprise was as far as it went. He stepped closer, wanting to see how far she’d go.

__

“For all we know,” she began ascshe rose out of her chair and started towards him. “You and I could be married.”

__

“For all we know, you and I could hate each other,” he countered and for some reason he couldn’t explain, that seemed the likelier of the two conclusions.

__

She laughed, undeterred. “Sort of exciting, isn’t it? We just don’t know.” Her hands wove between his.

__

“We might regret this,” he said, some inner voice of reason tugging him away even as she laced her fingers with his and pulled him closer and further into his bedroom. 

__

“Regret what?” she asked mockingly scandalized as he sat on the bed and she quickly joined him, arms wrapping around his shoulders “Aren’t you being a little presumptuous? Like I said I just didn’t like the way my quarters were decorated.”

__

She began peppering his neck with light kisses, which of course weren’t unpleasant, but there was a certain air of emptiness to it. 

__

“Maybe we should switch quarters,” he quipped enjoying their game of point, counterpoint.

__

She pulled away to look him in the eyes, a dancing gleam bouncing out of hers. “Maybe we should stay right here and see what happens.”

__

Maybe she was right. And for a second, he entertained the notion as he leaned in to briefly kiss her lips. As far as kisses went, there were no technical flaws, but that feeling of cold emptiness got stronger.

__

He quickly pulled away, a firmness forming in his eyes. “Listen, Ro. And maybe, I will regret what I'm about to say...but uh, I get the distinct feeling that you and I, well we don’t belong to each other...not like this.”

__

Ro sat back, stung and disappointed, but doing all she could to hide it. She cleared her throat and stood up from the bed. “I understand, sir,” she said with an air of forced formality. “I’ll be going, now.” 

__

Ever the gentleman, he got up to see her out. “Ro, I just think that while we’re in this predicament, it’s probably best to avoid...entanglements.”

__

Ro whirled around to face him. “I’m sure you’re right, sir. And I'm sure you’re right about us not belonging to each other. But tell me this, sir, are you convinced of that merely because of a feeling? Or are you convinced you belong to someone else?”

__

Will Riker didn’t respond, only watched as the stung look in her eyes to her stone. She turned around, squared her shoulders and left his quarters. 

__

He sighed and shook his head. He decided a drink was in order.

__

The next day brought them face to face with the enemy, though nothing had become any clearer. They were heading to the Lysian Central Command to destroy it. 

__

Will couldn’t say how he felt about the war, except that he knew that they had to accomplish their mission. After the destruction of a Lysian ship that was clearly no match for them, they’d had their morning briefing. 

__

Dr. Crusher was working on a way to return their memories to them, and they were all strategizing on what to do when they reached Lysian Central Command. They wouldn’t arrive for several hours and in the interim, Lieutenant Commanders Data and La Forge were working on a way to access the crew’s medical files.

__

Ensign Ro hadn’t looked at him once during the briefing. Well, the poor kid would just have to get over it. He really hoped she wasn’t his wife. If they ever got their memories back, he’d surely be in the doghouse.

__

After his morning Bridge Duty had ended, he headed to his quarters to continue his investigation of himself. There were some things he’d found fascinating. Some questions had presented themselves and he was longing to know the answer.

__

He didn’t know how much time he’d spent learning about himself. All he knew was he came out of it when there was a chime at door. 

__

“Come in.”

__

She came. He was hoping it would be Deanna and his hopes proved true. She smiled and he couldn’t help but wonder how one person could exude so much loveliness so easily. 

__

“I’m restless,” she said as she fidgeted with her hands. “Mind if I visit for a while?”

__

He stood and smiled. “Please,” he said more earnestly than he realized. He was happy to see her, but it was much more than that. He realized that he wanted to be in her presence more than anyone else’s, perhaps he even needed to be. And if her standing there was any indication, perhaps she felt the same.

__

He stood to greet her and for some reason. “What’s wrong?” he asked, it was almost as if he could sense her discomfort, as if it were pulsing into him.

__

“Everything,” she admitted. And that was an understatement. Everything about this whole situation had Deanna Troi uneasy. It didn’t feel right. In every fiber of her being, she felt it to be wrong. 

__

“Every time I think about this war, our mission, I feel a sense of panic, like a hand’s closing around my throat.”

__

Will sympathized immediately. He didn’t like it either. But war was war. Orders were orders.

__

“You’re never going to feel good about this war. None of us will. But we’ve got complete our mission.” 

__

She nodded, understanding. They had a duty to preform, there were billions of people counting on them. They couldn’t waver. 

__

“I’ve been doing a little research,” he continued, trying to find a lighter subject—and perhaps get her to share in a discovery of his. “Trying to find out a little more about William T. Riker.”

__

Deanna smiled, eager for a change of subject and to bask in that familiar feeling he produced. She folded her arms and glanced up at him.

__

“What have you discovered?”

__

“Well, he’s a musician for one thing,” he said as he picked up his trombone and played a jaunty melody. He couldn’t remember what it was called or when he learned to play, but the tune felt right for the occasion.

__

“Very impressive,” came Deanna’s amused reply.

__

“No one was more surprised than I,” he said as he put it down.

__

“So, what else has your research uncovered about William Riker?” she asked as her eyes fell over to the table where he compiled mementos.

__

“He’s athletically inclined, loves to climb mountains. He's from somewhere called Alaska. He enjoys exotic food and takes his vacation on a planet called Risa.” 

__

“ _ Ode to Psyche _ ,” Deanna said noticing the book with a contented smile. For some reason, it seemed familiar to her. “By John Keats.” The words felt foreign to her, but she believed it wasn’t the first time she’d held that book.

__

Will smiled. “Open it.” 

__

She did and she turned the first few pages until she reached an inscription: “‘ _ To Will. All my love, Deanna _ .’” 

__

She looked up at him, eyes brimming with a warmness she couldn’t dismiss, and yet couldn’t fully justify.

__

“That may explain some of the familiar feelings we have,” he said, giving her a pointed look. 

__

She reached out to touch his hair, feather soft and flowy in her hands and watched as the grin stretched across his face. Could she dare to be certain of anything in the midst of all this uncertainty?

__

“I don’t know what to think,” she admitted. 

__

Neither did he, but he knew what he felt—and he knew what he wanted to do. 

__

He stared into her eyes for a moment, his intent clear and her resistance nonexistent. 

__

He moved closer to her, his lips seeking out hers. She followed suit and she stood on her toes, anticipating his lips with an instinct that bred familiarity .

__

His scent filled her nostrils, his breath was warm and inviting like a summer afternoon. 

__

Their lips met for an instant and parted, but the intensity of the feeling that radiated could not be understated, it was like an electrical current that poured out from their souls and ran through every fiber they possessed. 

__

They opened their eyes briefly only to acknowledge that was not the kiss of two people who had never kissed before.

__

They resumed kissing almost instantly, longer, deeper, harder, reveling in the intense, longing, passionate feelings that had immediately overtaken them. 

__

Their lips played over each other in a synchronous dance that felt familiar and emotions that could only be described as passionate, affectionate and almost...love.

__

That was the word that seemed to ring in their ears as they kissed and kissed and kissed.

__

Deanna’s mouth opened slightly, and Will slipped his tongue inside relishing the taste of her: chocolate and spun sugar and roses and something else distinctly _ Deanna.  _

__

Her hands flew to his shoulders gripping him tightly and pulling him in deeper.

__

He held her tighter, closer until  they were practicing melding into one another.

__

She could feel his hardness, pressing against her thigh, though she didn’t need to. She could sense his arousal, his growing desire for her reaching into her very core.

__

He could sense hers too, or at least he thought he could. It was almost as if they were in a feedback loop, their desires feeding off each other and growing stronger and stronger, threatening to consume them with every passing second. 

__

They pulled apart again, eyes  brimming with longing and want. 

__

_ You sure?  _ She could’ve sworn his voice inside her head as much as she read the question in his blue eyes, now nearly cobalt with desire. 

__

_ Definitely _ , her voice seemed to respond inside his own head, but then agin, he couldn’t be sure. 

__

He pressed his lips to hers again, gently, softly, in no need to rush this moment. His hands crept along the small of her back, fingertips gently pressing, slightly gripping and easing their way to the clasp of her uniform. 

__

He took a step forward, pulling her in, their lips pressing hungrily together, tongues sliding gently over each other, exploring the caverns of their mouths as one of his hands fell to her thighs and hers gripped his neck. 

__

She shifted closer to him and he could feel her breasts flattening against his chest and although he could remember nothing of his past desires, he was certain that he had never wanted a woman as much as he wanted Deanna Troi. 

__

They made their way to his bedroom as one of his hand fumbled over the clasp of her uniform. He finally undid it when they crossed the threshold of his bedroom. 

__

He pushed the garment down her shoulders and arms and bared half her body to the air. The uniform settled on her hips, and she quickly stepped out of it, kicking it aside. 

__

He took a step back, unable to resist taking in the sight of her, uncovered and unclaimed (though not for long) and he nearly lost the ability to stand. The scent of her arousal filled the room and his nostrils, making him even harder, his mouth dryer and his determination to have her unshakeable. 

__

“You’re beautiful,” he said in a nearly reverential exhalation.

__

She blushed at his words as he continued to drink in her naked form, all the while reducing the distance between them. 

__

She reached out for him, wrapping her hands around his neck, her fingertips reaching up to play in his hair and massage his scalp. A deep, rumbling moan erupted from somewhere deep in his chest as he reached for the headband that held her hair in place. 

__

He removed it, raking his hands hand through her hair, bringing it around to frame her face, watching it as it reached the tops of her breasts. He couldn’t resist anymore. He pulled her by the waist flush against him, and took one firm mound in his hand, gently caressing, flicking his thumb across a hardened nipple.

__

The sensation rippled through Deanna instantly, her eyes closing, her head falling back, and a soft moan escaping her lips. He switched to the other, kneading, squeezing, tugging, pinching, enjoying the way she shuddered at his every touch. 

__

He planted a trail of kisses along her collarbone as her fingers made their way down to his wrists and began to tug at his shirt, which he proceeded to fling  over his head. 

__

Their lips met again in a frenzied, heated rush. She could feel the strong, taut muscles and sparse chest hair against her bare skin, his hands on her breasts and waist, his arousal—hard and thick, pressing against her and every sensation sent a pulsing wave of heat to her center. 

__

She reached for the button on his pants and taking his cue from her, he worked to rid himself of the last few  stiches of his clothing.

__

As he stepped out of his pants and boxers, Deanna sat on the bed and scooted back until she was propped up on the pillows. He looked up to see her in his bed, offering herself to him like a banquet.

__

Their eyes locked for the briefest of moments before Deanna broke the lustful gaze to appraise the rest of his body. Her eyes fell between his legs and she couldn’t help but smiling as she looked at his erection. She’d thought he was big earlier, but with the confirmation so clearly before her eyes, she felt she could've climaxed from the mere anticipation.

__

Will moved to join her on the bed, gently hovering over and fighting his every urge to take her immediately, instead captured her lips in a greedy, wanton kiss. He could feel the heat pulsing from her center and wanted nothing more than to bury himself inside her and never leave.

__

He broke the kiss only to begin a slow perusal of the rest of her. William Riker may not have known anything about himself, but he was finding out he was a patient man, and he wanted to make her beg.

__

He rested his lips against her neck, exhaling slowly, pecking lightly and feeling the tension rise and fall as he caressed. He took a long, slow lick of her neck and she moaned, her hands reaching to grip his shoulders.

__

Her nipples were stiff, nearly painful as he ran a smooth hand over the side of her ribcage, so close to her aching, needy breasts but not nearly close enough. She could feel moisture sleeping out of her in gushes, pooling in between her legs and knew that this before this night was over, she would’ve soaked the  bedsheet.

__

“You’ll have to wear a regular uniform tomorrow, Deanna,” he whispered into her ear as he began sucking on the skin between her shoulder and her neck. 

__

He bit her neck, and she nearly jumped, giving him a loud, passionate moan of pleasure that he seemed to feel even more so than he felt. He bit her earlobe and kissed the skin on the side of her chin, causing smaller softer moans to fall from her lips in a melodic note that he planned on getting used to.

__

“I take it you liked that,” he said although his voice sounded far off to him. He didn’t give her a chance to respond, he resumed biting and nibbling on her neck,  slowly making his way downwards. 

__

He pulled himself up slightly to take a pebbled nipple in hand, squeezing it gently between his forefinger and thumb, watching her eyes flutter close as he did. He didn’t relent, didn’t stop for a moment and when he did, he released her nipple and rested his open palm on her breast, taking in its full size, kneading it and promptly taking that nipple between his fingers again to squeeze then pull. 

__

Deanna’s eyes rolled back into her head as she switched from one breast to the other, then using both hands, he went to work on both. Will Riker was a musician indeed, and apparently, he planned on playing every note of every instrument her body possessed. 

__

The sensation in her legs was growing stronger, more incessant, demanding satisfaction. Her core throbbed in time with his ministrations, the ball of nerves throbbing more and more until she was certain she’d come then and there. 

__

Her fingertips tightened against his shoulders, her hands running down his back, she pressed her nails lightly to his skin, applying the slightest amount of pressure and it was his turn for a deep, breathy moan.

__

He responded by squeezing her breasts, pushing them together, gently  running his fingers across her nipples, and finally, finally taking one is his mouth, sucking at it  gently , licking the side of her breast.

__

She nearly screamed in delight, egging him on. With every lick and suck, she ground herself against his leg and he just continued to suck harder, longer, the sounds of his mouth against her skin filling the room and clouding both their minds.

__

She arched her back, nearly forcing her breast in his mouth. He moaned his reply and continued to suckle her flesh eagerly, stoking the inferno that was already raging even more. 

__

He abruptly pulled away from her breasts and lavished her stomach and waist with feather soft slow kisses. He hovered over her navel, tracing a circle around it with his tongue, before dipping into it.

__

“Will,” she exhaled, every pinpoint on her body standing attention, begging for more, and completely, completely at his mercy.

__

Her hands reached into his hair, gripping tighter as he continued to work his way down her body. 

__

He gently kissed along her pelvic bone, eagerly inhaling her heady, intoxicating scent. 

__

Her legs opened wider as he moved lower. His eyes feasted on her hairless center, dripping wet and pulsing. He blew  warm air against her  clit as he positioned her legs to rest on his shoulders.

__

His fingers found their way to  her clit and Deanna immediately thought she might melt, scream or faint. He placed his middle finger on her clit while opening her lower lips with his rink and pinkie, a low moan leaving his lips as he felt her wetness. She responded with a soft, breathy sigh, her thighs beginning to constrict.

__

She came suddenly against his hand, so suddenly that it shocked them both. he gently removed his hand, brought one finger to his lips and sucked slowly. 

__

Her taste was like her, sweet, smoky and he had the distinct impression that it was not the first time she’d been on his lips.

__

Being unable to resist, he lowered his head and exhaled softly against her clit where his fingers had never left. 

__

He lowered his head to begin kissing her most intimate space. She moaned loudly as she felt his warm, soft tongue sweep over her folds. 

__

“Will,” she breathed in  a loud gasp, her legs  instinctively wrapping around his head, her hands grasping his hair, holding him in place.

__

He responded by all out frontal assault on her clit, licking kissing, sucking it with fervor, enjoying the chant of his name that was falling from her lips.

__

Her legs constricted, and her moans got louder, the pleasure so intense she wanted to cry. His lips worked her over, making her stream and flow. 

__

“God, yes, Will, god,” was the only thing she could manage to say as he fingers reached for her clit again as his tongue entered her deftly.

__

Deanna couldn’t stop herself from screaming as his tongue, cool and warm, long, wet and broad began moving inside her, licking, and bending, causing every nerve of her body to writhe in pleasure.

__

Pure euphoria rattled through her veins at the sensations he was creating inside of her body. He could tell she was close when she started pushing her pelvis into his face, unable to get enough. He sucked on her clit roughly and she came again, it washed over her slowly, a sensation of low, pleasured groans as Will continued to pleasure her.

__

He'd became Will in her mind, she didn’t know how or when, but he was Will. And there was nothing like the feel of his hands, lips and tongue on her body. She decided then and there that this was how wanted to die: Will Riker inside her.

__

He sucked her clit more gently, using one finger to enter her, relishing in his first real grasp of her tight channel. The weight of his cock was now almost unbearable. He had to be inside her—soon. But god, he wanted her to squirt for him.

__

He moved in and out, slower, then fast adding another finger, stretching, feeling. It surprised him how quickly he found her g-spot, squeezing it tightly, and relished in watching her squirt as she bellowed with a pleasure so  intense, she thought she might faint. 

__

Her eyes rolled back, and she continued to moan, riding wave after wave of pleasure. He took a step back to admire his handiwork. 

__

There she was in his bed, her dark hair tousled on his phone, her breasts and lips swollen from his touch, her eyes dark, wide and lust filled. She was his for the taking, and he intended to.

__

Their eyes met for a moment she looked down at his cock, a red so dark it was nearly purple at the wide tip. She felt herself growing warm and needy again, despite the multiple orgasms she’d already experienced. 

__

Their eyes met  again, and she gave him her best come hither look.

__

He positioned himself on top of her, another heated gaze locked between them. Her legs opened around him, like a flower blossoming in the sunlight.

__

Their lips met again in a passionate rush and they drank each other in, Deanna tasting herself on his tongue, saving his soft lips with her own. Her arms wrapped around his neck as they continued to kiss, slower, deeper far more intimate than strangers could ever hope to be.

__

Deanna felt as if they had done this before, spent what seemed an eternity just kissing. Finally, she spread her legs wider, beckoning him to her.

__

Their lips didn’t part as slowly pushed inside her. Damn, she was tight. His gasped into their kiss as he relished in clenching around him like molten silk. 

__

She couldn’t stop herself from moaning as he stretched her to the hilt. He was long, thick and hard and she felt so full. He touched every inch of her, sending white hot pleasure coursing through her. 

__

They savored their joining for a long moment. Their connection was so complete, so exhilarating even though neither of them had moved. She moaned into their kiss as he contorted his hips for the first, slowly beginning to move in and out of her.

__

God, she was tight. Despite his lust, he couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since she’d been with a man. He knew without question that if she was his, he’d be in her every night, every morning, every fucking  second he got the  chance.

__

As he began to move, she wrapped her legs around him. They started off long and slow, stopping to hold back and start again, reveling and glorying in every single moment. They lost all sense of time as they lot themselves in the delirium of each other.

__

She bit down on her lower lip after a particularly deep stroke and Will began bucking into her strongly, pounding her into the mattress, capturing her lips again. 

__

She clenched her muscles around  him, and he responded by thrusting harder than he had before. She moaned and cried his name louder than she had before and euphoria shot through them both.

__

His pace became relentless. Slamming into her with greater force each time, the pleasure growing stronger and stronger, control slipping away from each of them with every move.

__

He knew he was getting close, he reached between, squeezing roughly at her clit, thrusting powerfully with his hips, doing  everything he  could to make her come undone.

__

She did. Her release hit her like a lightning strike, instant and unexpected. She cinched around him tightly, her voice growing her hoarse from her wails of pleasures. 

__

He pounded into her again and again until just as her orgasm began to subside, he came, spilling deeply inside her. 

__

She felt his him filling her, spreading into her, joining her. They stayed  intertwined until their breathing became normal and their pulses relaxed.

__

He rolled away from her, not wanting to put his weight on her, but unable to resist having her close, pulled her on top of him.

__

They were sweaty and sated—for the moment. They grinned broadly at each other, before Deanna rested her head gently on his chest. One his hands sought hers, the other drew little circles around her back. 

__

_ We don’t make love like strangers,  _ she said, or at least she thought she said. 

__

_ No, we don’t,  _ he readily admitted. On some level, they realized they were speaking on some level greater than regular communication, as they felt the words they were saying as much as they heard them.

__

_ I could stay like this, with you for an eternity, _ she told him. There was something, something that he was, something on the tip on her tongue, on the very fringes of her mind. 

__

She could almost hear it, almost, but she didn’t know what it was.

__

_ I’d have it no other way,  _ he responded as he planted a kiss to her temple. 

__

A soft kiss to the temple turned into a soft kiss on the cheek to a soft kiss on the lips and within moments they were wrapped up in the thralls of passionate bliss once again.

__

Neither could shake that peculiar feeling of belonging, but in all honesty, they didn’t want to.

__


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because it wouldn't be Will and Deanna if they didn't hop on a merry go round for at least a little bit...

** Two **

The next day, they'd been called to the Bridge for their respective duties. They’d shared a lengthy kiss goodbye, each stating that  during the course of the day, they’d find a moment to sneak off. Will had already conjured up several fantasies in that holodeck.

But fate, as was its way, decided to intervene.

In a rather anticlimactic battle, the matter of the Memory Conundrum had been solved. The  Satarran alien they had known as MacDuff had been revealed. The nonexistent war had bene revealed as the falsehood it was. And everything, for better or worse, began to return to normal.

Dr. Beverly Crusher had been working to restore the memory of the entire complement. She’d started with herself, then her staff, and the Bridge crew. 

Deanna and Will had been in Sick Bay at the same time. Neither of them had made a move to speak to the other. So much even more than usual was unsaid between them. For all the telepathic communication they had mastered, they somehow never managed to say what they really wanted to. 

They remembered everything. The truth of their connection, why they were not in a relationship, but most of all, they remembered the night before. Every frenzied kiss, every breathy sigh, every scorching, etched on their brains like  Roman numerals chiseled in stone. 

The more they tried to not think of it, the more they could think about nothing else.

Beverly had noticed how they both refused to look at each other. But that was between Troi and Riker and anyone with any sense (unless they happened to be Data) knew better than to say anything. 

Finally, not being able to resist the urge to communicate, Will had reached out to her with his mind, but she didn’t respond. 

He had finally decided to go over  and speak to her when his  ComBadge chirped .

“Picard to Riker,” he heard the Captain’s  voice.

“Riker here.”

“Number One, will you join me in my Ready Room?"

“Of course, Captain, on my way.”

He got up and prepared to leave Sick Bay. He was nearing the door when he felt her eyes on the back of his head.

He stopped for a moment and turned. Their eyes locked for the briefest of moments. He turned to leave, leaving  everything unsaid and hanging between them.

~

Following his meeting with Captain Picard, Will found  himself outside Deanna’s quarters. He hadn’t even known he was heading there. He didn’t even remember riding in the  turbolift . But regardless, there he was.

He pushed the chime on her door and waited. She knew it was him. He knew that she knew it was him. And she knew that he knew that she knew. And around and around they could go as they had been since they’d both been stationed on the Enterprise. 

After a long beat, she finally spoke. “Come in.”

He was surprised at how relieved he felt. 

She was at her desk, reviewing something on a PADD, a cup of hot chocolate at her side.

She turned to face him, a sense of hesitation in her eyes. 

“Hello, Will,” she said  with a smile. 

“Deanna,” was his only reply. Data would’ve been fascinated by everything they were and were not saying.

“Would you like to sit?” she asked motioning to the couch behind him.

“Only if you’ll join me.” 

She acquiesced with a nod and they both moved over to the couch. They made themselves comfortable. Deanna propped one leg under the other and they slowly turned to face each other. 

Will rubbed his knuckles together, trying to think of where to start.

“Deanna, I think we need to talk.”

She smiled. “I gathered.” 

He chuckled slightly and then sighed. “God, for as long as we’ve known each other, this shouldn’t be that hard.”

“ _ Imzadi _ _ ,”  _ she said softly. “It’s not hard, it’s just we’ve had this conversation before. We serve on the same starship. We can’t...”

“And why not?” he interjected not wanting to have the same conversation they’d had a thousand times before. “Do you know how many people on this ship are involved in relationships right now? Hell, half the of the damn personnel paperwork I fill is out acknowledgement of interpersonal connection.”

Deanna sighed. “It’s different. We both serve on the Bridge. It...it would be inappropriate.” 

_ Deanna, what are you so afraid of?  _ He asked reaching into her mind, taking one of her hands in his. 

_ I’m not  _ _ afraid, she _ countered back sharply. 

“Then what it is?” he asked, blue eyes earnest and holding her gaze. “You can’t tell me that last night didn’t mean anything.”

She sighed. “Last night was wonderful.  **_ More  _ ** than wonderful, it was beautiful. But you’d have to admit it was a bit of an aberration. We didn’t know who we were or what we were doing or the consequences of our actions.”

“We may not have known who we were, but we knew what we were doing. We couldn’t remember a damn thing about our lives and yet somehow, we found our way to each other. I think that says something, Deanna.”

She didn’t reply, just stared down. She knew he was right, and she could feel his sincerity, his earnestness, his love. But, they couldn’t. For so many reasons.

“Will, if something were to happen to you I—”

Will shook his head. “Deanna, we both knew the risks when we signed up. It was the same risks when we met. But if this whole thing debacle had made see anything can happen at any time.”

She stood up, pacing around, the way he knew she  did when something was  wrong —or when she wanted to avoid something. 

She finally stopped pacing and turned to look at him. “So, what are you suggesting? That we just throw caution and propriety and station and to duty to the wind? We serve on the flagship of the Federation. We have to be more careful than that.”

He stood up as well. “Deanna, neither of us are raw, foolhardy cadets. We know what we’re doing. We know that duty comes first. But at the end of the day, we’re people. We've got a right to happiness, don’t we?”

She didn’t answer. She never did when he was right. “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” he asked after she’d been silent for a few moments. “Fine, I’ll say it. It's not like you don’t already  know. Deanna, I love you. I always have. Whatever happens, I want you with me.”

He felt her response to his words which gave him hope, but she wouldn’t let him near her thoughts.

“And what about your command?” she asked finally.

His eyes widened. And there it was: the heart of the matter. The dark cloud that had shrouded their feelings for far too long. “You won’t be a first officer forever. We both know that. What happens when that moment comes...do we part again?”

He walked over to her, pulling her into his arms, eyes boring into hers. “Deanna... _ Imazdi _ _ , _ all this time I've been telling myself that the reason I haven’t accepted a command yet is because there’s nothing like the Enterprise, nothing like serving on the flagship. But that was just an excuse. I think deep down I knew that that this time, time I wasn’t going to leave without you.”

His words made her go weak-kneed, but still she hesitated. “Will, I—,”

He heard the hesitation in her voice, pulled her closer and cut her off, whispering his words against her hair. “Deanna, I’d walk away right now if you could tell me that you don’t love me. If you could tell me that you come undone for any other man, the way you do for me. Could anyone else ever be your __ _ Imazdi _ ?” 

He didn’t' wait for her answer. He just pressed a deep, searching kiss to her lips. She returned it, she couldn’t help but return it and for a few moments they simply lost themselves in their feelings once again.

Finally, Deanna pulled her lips away, resting her head against his chest. 

_ Just think about it,  _ _ Imazdi _ _. Can  _ _ you _ __ _ do _ _ that? Just think about  _ _ it? _ He pleaded directly to her mind.

_ All right, I’ll think about it. I promise, Imzadi.  _

And she did. Will knew she was thinking about it, because she kept her mind shut off from the him next day. He had Bridge Duty that morning and she had counselling appointments, so they didn’t cross paths. But he knew she was thinking.

She thought of everything, their first meeting, their whirlwind relationship, its jarring premature termination, the years of comfortable, safe friendship that characterized their time onboard the Enterprise. She thought of it all. 

For half the day, she had one answer. For the rest, another. But in the end, there was only one  conclusion she could make.

Will was relieved from Bridge Duty at 0600 hours that evening. He hadn’t seen or heard from Deanna at all. He was just beginning to tell himself that he’d be fine if her answer was no. That they could continue the way they had been for the past five  years.

He went back to his quarters, craving a drink. The real stuff, not the  synthehol they kept at Ten-Forward. 

He had just entered and was heading for his stash of whiskey when for the second time that week he heard noises in his bedroom. 

He walked in and he couldn’t help the smile that crept over his features.

There she was, wearing that pink nightgown, that wisp of a pink nightgown that covered everything but hid nothing. Her hair was down and flowing and she was pretending to read something on a PADD. 

“Deanna,” he said with an amused  questioning tone .

“Hello, Will,” she replied, her tone matching his own. Their eyes met and she returned his smile. “I thought about it.”

“And?” he prodded, his smile widening even larger. “What did you decide?” 

She tossed the PADD on the nightstand. “Get over here and you’ll find out.”

And he did. 

The next day, all senior staff was set for a meeting in the Observation Lounge to discuss their upcoming assignment following their docking at Starbase 183 for repairs to the Computer.

As he was to see them in a matter of minutes at 0700, Captain Jean-Luc Picard was extremely surprised when Commander William Riker and Counselor Deanna Troi appeared outside of his Ready Room at 0645 hours. 

“Commander, Counselor, come in please,” h e said as he put down his cup of Earl Grey. “Havea seat. What can I do for the two of you?” 

Deanna and Will sat down, but neither of them began speaking. They were cautiously optimistic about their Captain’s approval, but anyone who knew Jean-Luc Picard knew that  duty came first, second and third in his life.

Picard looked from to the other, his impatience growing. “Commander, Counselor,  **_ is there  _ ** something I can do for you?”

Deanna shifted in her seat. “Captain, our presence here is...um something of a personal, well not request, but nature.”

“I see,” Picard said as he leaned back in his chair. “Continue,” he added with a pointed look towards his First Officer. 

Will cleared his throat. “Sir, as you know Deanna and I were involved previously and the reason we’re here is because—”

Picard leaned back further in his chair. “Commander, did the two of you come of in here to inform me of your intentions to resume your romantic relationship? Am I in the vicinity of a correct assumption?”

A half-smile turned upon on Will’s face. “Very much in the vicinity, Captain.”

“With your permission, of course, Captain,” Deanna added quickly.

Picard gave a small smile at that. “My permission? Counselor, I'm your Captain, not your father or priest. My permission or consent is hardly required. However, a word of caution: romantic relationships can be problematic on starships especially among Bridge Officers. I fully expect the two of you to carry out your duties with the care and diligence that has hallmarked your service on the Enterprise. Is that quite clear?”

“Aye, sir,” they chorused after exchanging a small smile.

“Well, now that’s settled. Dismissed. See you at 0700 hours.”

Will got out of their chairs and headed for the door. The doors had just opened when the Captain spoke again.

“But allow me to say off the record, Will, Deanna,” and he waited for them to turn their heads and face him again. “It’s about damn time.” He smiled at them and proceeded to take a  sip of his tea. 

Picard’s smile didn’t leave as they walked out of the room. He couldn’t help but ponder that perhaps losing one’s memory did have some benefits. Perhaps, one forgot all the millions of ever-present reasons not to do something.

Ten minutes later, the senior staff had gathered in the observation lounge. 

Beverly Crusher entered the lounge and sat down next to Deanna who was sitting next to Will. “Deanna, there you are. I stopped by your quarters earlier to see if you wanted to get some exercise in on the Holodeck...” 

Deanna did her best not to blush. “Oh...um, I was...preoccupied.” 

Beverly eyes narrowed, but she didn’t say anything. But she did notice the way Will seemed entirely too  **_ preoccupied _ ** with his PADD. 

A young Ensign by the name of Brawley walked in. “Commander Riker, here are those personnel and quarter changes. Counselor Troi, we should have your things moved  into Room 912 before 1200 hours.” 

Four sets of eyebrows  raised ( two human, one Klingon and one Android) at the mention of  Deanna’s things being moved into what they all knew were Will’s quarters.

“Thank you, Ensign,” Commander Riker said with as much formality as he could muster. “That’ll be all.”

Picard decided to put the awkward moment to rest. “Commander Riker and Counselor Troi are combining quarters.”

“About damn time,” came Geordi’s reply with a smile.

“Finally,” said Beverly  with a knowing look at Deanna. 

“Glory to Kahless,” chimed in Worf

The only person who did  not respond immediately was Data.

“Captain, I am confused,” he began a clear look of perplexity across his features. “Has the combining of Commander Riker’s and Counselor Tori’s quarters been forthcoming? I am unaware of any such plans—,”

“Mr. Data,” the Captain interjected as everyone else suppressed grins. “Will and Deanna are resuming their romantic relationship. They are moving in together.” 

A look of understanding came over Data. “Ah, I see. Well in that case, I join in my crewmates’ sentiments: it  is about time.” 

“Well, now that that’s settled,” Picard said, having had more than enough sentiment for one meeting. “Mr. Worf, when we get to Starbase, I want to have all the hand phasers completely retuned...”

_ Imazdi _ _ , they’re right, it is about time, _ said Will directly to her mind, his  hand seeking hers under the table. 

She didn’t respond telepathically. She only intertwined her fingers with own and her let her love pour through them, like a warm, soothing bath. 

He knew that, finally, wherever they went next, he wouldn’t leave without her. 


End file.
